all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
