its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
