omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
