she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
