This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
