Me. At least after what I've been through.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
