He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
