ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
