I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
