Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I still have a little drunk in my system
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
