A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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