please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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