You really coming over, don't trick.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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