Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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