He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
