my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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