Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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