I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
