I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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