i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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