So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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