Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
