you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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