So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
