he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
