I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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