that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
