The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize