I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
