In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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