I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
