you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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