I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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