she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it's like iHOP with fire
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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