drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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