do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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