if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize