All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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