Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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