the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
