I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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