i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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