Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
