Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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