Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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