Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
