the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
