Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
