I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize