I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize