Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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