In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
