This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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