We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
