Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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