Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
