Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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