haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
