The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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