State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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