My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
