is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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