Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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