I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.