And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month