At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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